"I've tried really hard not to yell at my children. But sometimes I just can't avoid it. I yell so hard, and then I feel so guilty afterwards. I know it isn't really about what my children are doing, it's just me, having a hard day and transferring the frustrations....
"TBOG...My new year's resolution is to be a more patient mom. But when I told my thirteen-year-old, she [and my entire family] reminded me that I had made the same resolution last year. It punctured my resolve and guilt set in. I feel like a failure, even...
Is there a particular thing we as parents must do to successfully engage our ever tantrum-spewing adolescent? Might there be anything in particular we might be doing wrong as parents that sets up teenage-hood to be a difficult time for us? From our wealth of research and experience, the answer is both yes and no. There are times in life where we can control certain outcomes. But in situations where outcomes cannot be controlled, being equipped with the requisite knowledge helps one to go through with minimal scarring. Such is the adolescence dilemma.
Life is full of ups and downs and as our children mature, they discover painfully that good things will not happen to them simply because they are good. It is why we encourage every parent to raise emotionally resilient teenagers. When these crises situations occur, we must have tough conversations with our children, especially adolescents, whether that’s explaining to your teenager why Grandma died or hearing from your twelve-year-old that she was body-shamed in class or having your sixteen-year-old fall apart on the night before his big speech. Whatever the case, when crises occur, the appropriate response is not to shy away from it and pretend it never happened.
As parents of adolescents, you try to help your son or daughter make good decisions. You provide guidance. You give them facts. You explain the pros and cons. You talk to other parents to glean wisdom. You think about how you felt when you were a teen, and the consequences you suffered when you made poor decisions. You think you have finally set your adolescent up for success. But then you find out that your adolescent has taken none of your advice and has done exactly what they wanted to do all along! Moms and dads, while this is frustrating and upsetting, there is a physiological explanation as to why they behave this way. A significant part of your adolescents’ brain, the prefrontal cortex, is undeveloped.
It had been a pretty hectic week for Mrs K, Helen's mom. She ran two shifts and still had to pick up groceries before heading home. While in transit, she began to think about her other problems. The rent was almost due and her payment had been delayed due to an issue...
“Parenting adolescents is hard” is something we have often heard parents say. This doesn’t always have to be so. Teenagers are fun.
“Blame is the lie by which we convince ourselves that we are victims. It is the lie that robs us of our serenity, our generosity, our confidence, and our delight in life . . . For it is the act of blaming that can't co-exist with self-responsibility -- or with freedom...
Emotional agility is an individual’s ability to experience their thoughts and emotions and events in a way that doesn’t drive them in negative ways but instead encourages them to reveal the best of themselves. This is an important skill every adolescent should be taught to develop because it will strengthen their resilience and ability to return to pre-crisis state.
"Try to see your child as a seed that came in a packet without a label. Your job is to provide the right environment and nutrients and to pull the weeds. You can’t decide what kind of flower you’ll get or in which season it will bloom." -- Anonymous As parents, we...